In case you didn’t already know, I’m a huge fan of love. I’m a hopeful romantic, not a hopeless one because I hope that one day I will find the love of my life and live happily ever after. Yes, I believe in Cinderella and fairy tales. And a real-life fairytale that I have enjoyed seeing unfold is that of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. It may not seem like a fairytale because they had broken up before and recently just rekindled their love, but even Cinderella and the Prince had obstacles along the way to finding happily ever after.

Last night I watched the Netflix movie Persuasion. The movie was made from a book by Jane Austen (I love movies made from Jane Austen novels). And it’s about a lady who was persuaded by her family to give up a broke guy that she loved, but he later came back into her life and they ended up rekindling their love. They were apart for about eight years, but neither of them was able to be free of the bond that they shared. Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, and Jane Austen got me thinking all night about the kinds of love that we experience in our lifetime.

In the movie Persuasion, the young lady met someone else who she thought, as did we as viewers, was the “Love” she had been waiting for. His timing was almost perfect; he seemed to say all the right things, tick all the boxes, and she even said he had started to grow on her. While watching this unfold, I realised that some love simply comes to shake your heart open and make you realise how much more you may care for someone else. Anyway, before I give so much of the movie away, let’s get into the three kinds of love that you experience in your lifetime.

I’ve had this post from @weddedwonderland saved on my Instagram since 2018 because I knew one day I would share it. I don’t know who wrote the post, but I can relate because I have experienced two of the kinds of love described.

First Love

This love often happens at a young age. You eventually grow apart or call it quits over silly things. When you get older, you may look back and think it wasn’t love. But the truth is, it was. It was love for what you knew love to be. Remember: There are different depths of love.

Second Love

The hard one. You get hurt in this one. This love teaches us lessons and makes us stronger. This love includes great pain, lies, betrayal, abuse, drama, and damage. But this is the one where we grow. We realise what we love about love and what we don’t love about love. Now we know the difference between good and bad humans. Now we become guarded, careful, cautious and considerate. We know exactly what we want and don’t want. 

Most would agree with me that the second love usually happens more than once. I think we get stuck in the cycle of the second love until the third love arrives. As I already mentioned, I have experienced the first and the second, and to quote Lizzie, “it’s about damn time” the third one showed up. 

Third Love

This one comes blindly. No warning. It creeps up on you silently. You don’t go looking for this love; it comes to you. You can erect ANY wall you want, but it will be demolished. You’ll find yourself caring about that person without trying. They look nothing like your usual crush types, but you get lost in their eyes daily. You see beauty in their imperfections. You hide nothing from them. You want marriage and a family with them. You thank the universe for them. You truly love them.

I called the third love the unexpected love. As the author rightly explained, it creeps up on you when you least expect it. However, this doesn’t mean that it would be from someone new. Sometimes the right love comes before we are ready for it and mature enough to cherish it, just as in the case of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. This love will most often surface again, as I believe what is meant to be will be. So be open-minded to the fact that your third and final love may come from someone old. However, this doesn’t mean that you should blindly take back past partners just because you think the relationship may work the second time around. If the relationship ended for serious reasons, especially reasons relating to toxic or abusive behaviour, please do not entertain any blasts from the past.

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