It’s the finale of the love and Valentine series and having explored issues that border on forgiveness, Valentine celebration and sustaining love between partners, what better way to draw the curtain than with self-love?

Many-a-time, people are so focused on how much they can bring to the table in any relationship; be it with family or peers. They always seek to be in people’s good books by being overly nice. This comes with making a lot of personal sacrifices which at times may not be favorable but they just go ahead anyway. But when it comes to the welfare of such people, you find out that no one takes care of them and they themselves may in fact not be demanding.

You get into a relationship and when things are going south you’re the one making all the effort to keep it going. You’re separated by distance from your friends and if you don’t holler, there’s no keeping in touch. It is indeed a good thing to be nice and see to the welfare of those around you; but baby boy or baby girl, I need to ask – for how long?

The concept of self-love does not entail being selfish or narcissistic; rather it connotes caring about yourself and well being in a way your average friend wouldn’t.

There are no limits to how you can practice self-love. Go to the spa for a full-body scrub and massage, get a soothing pedicure, enjoy a sun bath while sipping an expensive bottle of wine, try new food, visit new places, attend comedy shows after a long day; there is really no limit.

Steve Maraboli a behavioral scientist, said the most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself affects your relationship with others. If you’re happy within you, you almost literally drop rose petals everywhere you go. But if you’re bitter 24/7, you exude bitterness as well.

Personally, when I feel the need to do something for myself, I go to the movies alone to see either a romantic comedy or action comedy movie. It always helps. I also love Amala and Ewedu with lots of beef so I treat myself to that as well. If I’m feeling extra, KFC Zinger burger and ColdStone Creamery got my back. These are the little things I love and I never wait around for someone to come take me to have them. I just pick up my debit card and I’m out.

Diane Von Furstenberg, fashion mogul and founder of the iconic Wrap dress said when a woman becomes her own best friend, life is easier. You don’t want to be that person who is easily irritated or worked up because you’re not patient enough to have a relationship with people and understand them or that person whose colleagues at work dread or school mates dread being paired with for a project. There’s the need to constantly see to your happiness and maintain a positive state of mind.

When you fall out with your boyfriend/girlfriend and find yourself single again, you’re allowed to cry, drown in ice-cream and deprive yourself of food, shave and bath like they do in the movies but that is certainly not the period to be self-destruct, Mr. or Ms. Available or over-advertise your breakup. This period is best suited for building yourself and noting what went wrong so you don’t find yourself making the same mistakes in future.

Caroline Kirk, a writer and teacher said self-love requires you to be honest about your thought patterns and undertake new practices that reflect self-worth.

Self-love entails you legit do your own thing – that which makes you happy, care less about the world without in fact hurting anyone or yourself in the process.

Rather than sit around with a damp spirit waiting for XO to come love you, practice self-love and develop a vibrant spirit. Love yourself first in order to determine your ability to love others. Smile more and worry less.


Written by Winifred Ononikpo

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