Heartbreak isn’t unfamiliar to any of us. At some point we’ve all experienced heartbreak, and if you haven’t, keep reading because you most likely will.  Whether you found out you were in a relationship with yourself or your relationship turned out to be a group project or your crush that doesn’t know you exist starts dating someone other than you. Doesn’t matter the type because the feeling is the same. Here we’re taking you through the dos and don’ts of heartbreak, to avoid getting stuck in the post breakup phase.

  • DON’T rush into a new relationship

Allow time to process your feelings. Don’t be quick to seek a pillar in someone else because the burden may be too much on that person. Also, if that person breaks your heart while you’re still dealing with baggage from the last one, the likelihood of having a breakdown will be higher.

  • DO work on your self-esteem

Breakups are the worst for self esteem. Remember, “you are gold, some may prefer silver, and that’s okay. It says more about their taste than your worth.” Use this time to work on YOUR identity and discover who you truly are.

  • DON’T be quick to post

Put your phone away. Make sure you’re emotionally stable before you start uploading things that you most likely will regret later. Instead, give your best friend a call and rant away those feelings whenever the need arises. It’s important to avoid insulting the person so as not to look and sound hurt.

  • DO cry if you need to

Crying and exercising cause the release of endorphins into the bloodstream. Endorphins are powerful painkillers that soothe both physical and emotional pain. Lock yourself up and have a good cry as many times as you need to!! Everybody cries, it’s the body’s way of comforting itself.

  • DON’T isolate yourself

Spend time interacting with others and occupy yourself to avoid focusing on those dark emotions all day. But be careful not to fall into coping mechanisms like Repression, Denial or Reaction formation.  Its okay to have alone time, but don’t overdo it. 

  • DON’T give up on love

Most people resort to being emotionally cold. Just because this one didn’t turn out right doesn’t mean you should punish yourself for it. Allow yourself go through the process as many times as possible. ‘What if it turns out like the last one’ but what if it doesn’t? 

Stay true to yourself. There is no ‘hardguy’ in break up. Don’t lie to yourself that it doesn’t hurt. That will only delay the healing process. Be supportive of friends going through breakups and don’t ridicule their vulnerability. Heartbreak is painful, but it cannot kill you. Just as the relationship you thought will last forever ended, so too will the seemingly endless pain of the heartbreak come to an end.

This article was written bPeace Onaji; connect with her on Instagram via here  

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