Two weeks after my break up with my ex-boyfriend, I was still a mess. Not that teared-face-mascara-holding-cup-of-coffee-and-running-my-hands-over-pictures of-him-on-Instagram-kind-of-mess – I stalked him though – no, not that kind of mess. It was the going through old conversations and crying kind of mess, the “I wish I hadn’t done it kind of mess, the I’m such an idiot kind of mess, the writing of my favourite memories of him, of us, kind of mess.” Yes, these kinds of mess. For two weeks after I summoned up the courage to put an end to our strained relationship, I couldn’t think straight. My mother even noticed my sour mood one of those days and asked me for the first time in all my life, in a soft voice and not after flogging me with a cane, “Why are you crying?”
Well, I couldn’t just tell her it was because of a boy, now, could I? No. So, I lied to her and told her it was just regular old cramps then asked for Panadol because all that crying and sleepless night really left me with a bad headache.
After I succeeded getting my mom off my back, I dove back into the mess and drowned in it. I don’t know how long I stayed there, how long I refused to move and resurface; to get my life back together because the new semester was less than two weeks away (I’d broken up with him during a vacation), I don’t know long I chose to remain in that mess, I only know that one day, I was fed up with myself and decided to get out of it and it was refreshing.
I slammed my diary shut, archived my chats with him and took a deep breath, you have a fucking life I told myself, get back to it now! I got back to my life alright but it wasn’t easy, it took a lot of mental willpower and physical strength before I could.
Soon before I knew it, I’d forgotten I was ever in a relationship after I took the following actions;
I stopped thinking about him and accepted it was really over between us. Like I said earlier, I archived our chats and stopped writing about my fondest memories of us. This made everything else after, easier.
I kept myself busy with things I loved. I picked up books I’d longed abandoned before the break-up and started reading them, immersing myself in those pages made me feel like I was in a whole new world where heartbreaks didn’t exist.
I watched some of my favourite shows. I love cartoons so much, it wasn’t a surprise watching my favourites made me forget I was sad. Me, sad? Huh? Where? Family Guy and Big Mouth made me laugh my sorrows away. I spent more time with my friends. Hanging out with my friends took my mind off my ex and I wasn’t so lonely and depressed anymore.