Story, story, story… You know how the rest of this goes, so let me just get into the gist. Sometime in 2020, during the COVID lockdown, I decided to join a dating app called Bumble. There really was nothing else to do anyway since we were all stuck at home, not knowing when we would be free to go out on physical dates. I was single at the time (I’m still single), so I had nothing to lose, really. 

I had never been on a dating app before or tried online dating, so this was a first for me. The first thing I discovered was that there were many people on the app. I never really saw Nigerians as the online dating type, apart from the occasional sliding into DM’s on social media, but I guess I was wrong. When you set up your profile on the app, you choose certain preferences, such as what you’re looking for in terms of marriage, relationship, or something casual, and fill out certain information, such as your height, hobbies, likes, and so on. 

Another feature unique to Bumble is that the women must make the first move. This was unusual for me because, as women, we’re used to the men making the first move. I’d say I swiped through about 30 guys before I found someone who fit my criteria. So let me explain. Among the 30 guys I swiped through, there were a couple who had potential, but their “Looking for” options were “Don’t know yet” or “Something casual.” And I certainly did not use a dating app to find someone who is unsure of what they want or who is looking for something casual.

When setting your preferences, you can also specify the age range of the men you want to meet. I was 26 at the time, so I chose an age range of 26 to 36. My mother has always said that I am more mature than guys my age, and she would prefer that I marry someone 5 to 10 years older. However, I had to change my age preferences later on because I had exhausted most of the men in the age bracket I had initially chosen. I’ll explain this later.

Let’s call the first guy I connected with Dapo. He seemed very chill and had good banter. We talked a lot, and after a while, we exchanged phone numbers and moved the conversation to WhatsApp. But then I noticed he was very flirtatious and always making sexual remarks. He kept talking about all the sexual things he wanted to do while making plans for a first date. I initially played along because I assumed it was just a guy thing and that he was just trying to appear interesting. But after a while, the conversation became less frequent, eventually dying out because I wasn’t interested in what he wanted. I’m not here to be someone’s playmate; I’m looking for a husband. So I moved on to other potential “husbands,” lol.

Another thing I noticed while chatting with these other guys was that they were always so quick to want to take the conversation to WhatsApp. They ask for your phone number almost immediately. After a few trials and errors, I realised that giving up your phone number so soon was a big mistake because things may not work out, leaving you with contacts of people you don’t want on your phone.

To be continued…

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