Have you ever had something you wanted to say for a while; the words were literally on your lips, but you held yourself back? I’m not talking about when you’re upset and want to lash out but restrain yourself. I’m talking about wanting to point out those things that bother you or wanting to express your true feelings to someone or about something. A lot of times, we pick up our phones to make that call or send that text. But we end up not pressing the dial button and even deleting the text (some save as draft, but never send it)!
There are a few reasons we chose not to communicate our feelings with our significant others; here are some of the most common:
- They should be able to read your mind: Except you are dating or married to a magician, a witch or assistant holy spirit, they cannot read your mind! Let me say that again, your partner cannot and should not even be able to read your mind (I’m sure you know why). There’s a difference between knowing what you like and dislike based on your discussions and actually mind-reading! You should not expect that someone can tell how you feel and know what’s on your mind without you actually communicating it. My brothers and sisters, only God can do this wonder you are expecting from your partner o!
- It’s not a big deal: Sometimes, we keep quiet because we chalk it up to the issue not being a big deal. It really might not seem like a big deal at that moment, but when little issues like that keep piling up, one day you’ll explode, and your partner would be left wondering where “all of this is coming from”.
- Pride: You feel a certain way about someone ie you’re in love, and rather than tell the person, you wait for them to tell you first because you can’t be the first to say it! Other times you and your partner get into an argument and are probably not speaking to each other, but you get the urge to call to text an “I miss you” or “I am sorry”. But pride won’t let you because your ego is more important than actually having a genuine conversation.
Communication is so easy, yet it has become one of the most difficult things to do in relationships. Communicating your feelings, worries, doubts, and fears can help avoid a lot of misunderstandings. It makes it such that partners don’t have to assume or guess how the other person feels. Issues become easier to avoid or solve, and everyone is happy. You spend less time arguing and more time communicating when communication is done right.
Now I’m sure you’re expecting me to give tips on how to communicate better. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but all I have for you today is “Open your mouth and say how you really feel!”. As long as you do this in a manner that is calm, respectful to your partner and considerate of their feelings, I’m sure you can make headway.
Maybe in another blog post, I will delve into tips for communicating better with your partner. But your takeaway from this blog post should be that Communication is key for the survival of any relationship, not just romantic relationships, but family and friendships as well. So start communicating today!