The entirety of this article isn’t to discredit other factors that may lead or determine why abuse is prevalent in certain relationships.
I should also note that this isn’t gender specific.
To start, let me quote a favorite line “Outside of God, one thing that controls the world is Money.”
When it comes to Love, Sex and Marriage, we can’t deny that money is mostly a determining factors and you disagree or oblivious to this fact, here’s how
HOW MONEY INFLUENCES LOVE
Show me a person that doesn’t appreciate the good things of life and I might as well show you someone who might be in need of a psychiatric hospital.
We all want to feel happy but the little pocket of gratitude/contentment still has little or a minute influence from money.
Our childhood memories were heavily influenced by Disney fairy tales and just a few of us have been able to achieve something similar to that.
However, a majority of young people (the older ones inclusive) will tell you that it’s harder to love when there is no form of financial stability.
Today’s reality is “money can’t buy you love but it can certainly affect your love life” because no one really wants a liability because life in itself is getting tougher each day.
And by the term “liability“, I am just referring to full financial dependency.
Let me add that, there would definitely be instances where emotions override reasoning but the truth is, after a while, dependency almost always breeds room for abuse.
And that brings me to the other part of today’s subject matter
HOW MONEY ENABLES ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
Let me kick-start this with a favorite quote “you’re better off connecting with people for who they are, rather than what they can offer you.”
The truth is, once a person is financially independent; relatively and subjectively, it gives an ease of access to what they really need from a companion and allows them to form boundaries to protect themselves.
In emotional abusive relationships, it is seemingly a case of the narcissist manipulating his/her victim largely because of their dependency which could not only be as a result of finances but also emotional, mental or spiritual.
On the other hand, physical abuse may be linked to childhood trauma and other psychological factors.
In some situations, the victim tolerates the abuser so as to maintain the lifestyle and save face from either rejection from a perceived social class.
As unreal as that may sound, most of us never stop to identify who we are with money, and our relationship with it, because that introspection gives us a view into our upbringing, training and how we interpret our experiences and relationships.
The above is better understood when you look into a Theory called The Money Personality Type identified by Dr Lisa Smith.
To end this, self awareness isn’t just some spiritual term used to define the practice of meditation. It also means to understand all aspects of your life including money.
This will save you from working at a place you don’t want to and help you walk away from situations, places and people who are not aligned with the values and beliefs for your peace of mind.
Therapy is also an option. Be open to the idea.