I cried and cried the day his girlfriend called to threaten me to leave her boyfriend alone not only because that was the first time somebody would accuse me of something so disgusting but because I knew I could not stop loving him despite the threat. If you would ask me, I strongly believe that leaving a guy you love very much because his girlfriend threatened you to leave him can be as painful as/be likened to switching off a ceiling fan that is giving you so much pleasure just because the person sitting next to you is cold.

In my own words, love is that uncontrollable feeling that makes you feel hot and cold at the same time of which the object of your love is the only one that can normalize your condition. But come to think of it, this thing called love does not appear clear at times because most times, obsession is usually confused for love. For instance, in a situation whereby you can not sleep without this person,  you would weep like a baby each time this person promised to show up but never did or even when he or she acts so coldly towards you over the phone, via a text message or physically. Now do we call all of these love or obsession? That is where the confusion sets in.

Let me continue with the narration of my life experience, this guy I was brooding over was someone I met long before he had a girlfriend and long before I had a boyfriend  too but the courage to speak to him led me forgetting about him, I felt I could never be the first to start talking to a guy not to talk of telling him how I felt so I moved on with my life.

Few years later,  coincidence brought us together  as our paths crossed. Although I kind of forced it in the sense that I searched and searched various social media outlets and kept asking people until l got his contact. We started talking and became so close plus it was all fun (at last I got what I had always wanted even though we both now had relationship partners). We saw nothing wrong in maintaining that closeness as far as we could always be together. The funny thing was that we were not even dating. My boyfriend (who far away from where I was because of work) began to suspect me one way or the other, my friends warned me and even his girlfriend started complaining to him about his divided attention which all led to the day his girlfriend called me. oh!  I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life but this guy and I still continued enjoying our togetherness despite all that happened (well I never told him about his girlfriend’s call because she threatened me not to, not like I was scared but somethings are better left that way). We were very intimate that oneday we were so carried away that he kissed me and well, I allowed it but we both later agreed that it would never happen again and that we were just friends but we were still so cool with each other after that.

All of a sudden, this guy began to withdraw from me, act so cold during a phone conversation and I felt like my life was ending. I would often cry my eyes out everyday until oneday I mustered the courage to speak up to my boyfriend about all that has happened and how it had been eating me all up. Oh! My boyfriend has a heart of gold, with his beautiful soul,  he was able to forgive me and made me understand that I was only obsessed about this guy and it was not love in the first place. My boyfriend came over to where I was at that time, he built this closeness and trust with me so much that I forgot about the guy after a while and I just could not thank my boyfriend enough.

What happened to the guy? We are still friends till date (no strings attached ofcourse) because he came back giving lame excuses for his actions and even asked me to be his girlfriend officially and I plainly said “NO”. In little words, all I am trying to say is that, try to differentiate if a feeling is of love or of obsession before acting on it. I learnt my lesson.


This article was written by Olagbende Rebecca; connect with her on IG here

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