My obsession with my face for the longest time, was not even a joke. I strived so hard to achieve perfection in that department, but nothing seemed to be working for me the way I wanted. It was either too uneven, flaky, oily or decorated with dark spots. I experimented and tried soooooo many routines and products. They were all just a waste of time, and most importantly my money (A student with no job, Ha! I laugh/cry in currency). I still had the breakouts which left me with spots that wouldn’t clear up on my sensitive, combination and hyper pigmented facial skin (Who did I offend?).
Honestly, was an acne-less, clear, glowing, sun kissed looking face too much to ask for? To top it all off, I had this particular friend (I won’t name names because I’m nice like that) who wouldn’t stop teasing me about how the complexion of my face and body were utterly different, and the other things going on too. This only made it bother me even more. My whole striving for the perfect facial skin was during the period of my constant feelings of inadequacy, so yes I won’t lie, I wanted it for the wrong reasons. I would look in the mirror and only focus on the imperfections. This also had a negative effect on my already truncated self-esteem and confidence. I thought maybe if I had a clear face, that I would be seen as beautiful. It was honestly all about other people. A pimple on my face, no matter how big or small made me feel extremely uncomfortable, distorted and extra ugly, like it was not a normal occurrence (Iranu).
The evolution I went through of learning to love and accept myself wholly regardless of my flaws, had a huge impact in this department. I stopped viewing myself as ugly and unworthy because of my imperfections. I still love skincare a lot, but now I do for the right reasons. I decided that I wanted to have healthy, supple and bright skin that reflects how I feel about myself on the inside. It has become about how I feel and not about the person next to me. I stopped putting all that pressure on my skin, and allowed it to breath. I started drinking a lot of water, and worked on cleansing myself from the inside and now, I have finally found a product that works for me (It’s completely natural and eco-friendly too!). My skin is flourishing and I don’t stress it or overdo it. I still have the occasional blemishes, but now they don’t change how I view myself. From my personal experience, my outward appearance transitioned when I began to see myself differently on the inside.
There is no crime in wanting to look and feel good. Just ensure those wants stem from the right places. Look good for you and feel good for you, not for the opinions of others.
Beauty is not perfection.
This story was written by Omotayo Asani; connect with her on Instagram here
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