“Take not my Youth, cause that’s where all my style is built.” – Sophia Onwane.
At the age of 10, when I was old enough to plan my outfits by myself, my mom would always say to me “You don’t know fashion”. Her intention to instill in me the stereotypical mode and ways of dressing that were considered socially acceptable although harmless, built a house in my mind and for years each time I dressed myself up and got a smile of approval from my mom, I applauded myself mentally. For me, the look of admiration in my mother’s eyes did it all. When I would go out, I would feel really confident. Everyone seemed to acknowledge my style and I drew to the conclusion that my mom’s style was the best and so by hereditary my style it was too. Or so I thought?
Becoming 18 did it all for me. Being exposed to social media and the television throughout my teenage years, I watched a lot of people talk about owning your style and how your style defined your person. I saw people who were bold enough to come clean about how they struggled with finding their voice through their style. I sat and thought to myself about how I could discover myself through style because I had become obsessed with embracing my difference and celebrating the fact that I was NOT like the rest. So I decided to do something about it. Reading books about self-love and acceptance helped a lot. So also self meditation and evaluation. After doing all these, I realised that I was no longer worried about what mommy was going to say when I didn’t dress in a way that suited her taste. It was time to call dibs on my life and most especially my style. It wasn’t easy at the beginning you see, I would go into arguments with my mom about the choices and decisions I made for myself based on my style. I was fast losing the position of mommy’s perfect girl but I was more than determined to open her eyes to the reality that she was asphyxiating my life and she had to let me be me. Today, I have the best relationship with my mum and I’m glad that I took that bold step of changing the course of my life.
Bottom line is; No one has the right to steal your shine, because the universe is large enough for us all to glow. So Arise today and own your style. Do not be afraid of being unique. Not everyone will accept it that’s a fact, but the most important thing is that you’re able to BE YOU in a world where somehow we’re burdened with the duty of living someone else’s life and imitating their style.
Different is definitely Dope!
This article was written by Sophia Onwane; connect with her on IG here