I wanted to start this article with some random patriarchal quotes backing up some male gender’s avid sexual drive, but I didn’t want to unintentionally mislead people who might then get so pissed, they’d dump the article, missing its main intent. Meanwhile, for those of you who still believe in quotes like “African men are polygamous by nature,” I am not going to stoop to petty-level to show you that two can play that game.

Instead, with two real life stories, I am going to enlighten other people on how to deal with a cheating spouse.

Here goes the first story: Now upon a time, there lived a woman named A. A has been married for some years to a man called B. A is currently in jail, she was arrested after she beat up her fake friend called Ho, for sleeping with her (A’s) husband B. Funny thing is Ho is a married woman and had been a friend of A for a really long time. The End.

The second story goes: Also now upon a time, there lived a recently married couple who just moved to their own home. It was all good and fine until the man had to travel out of the country for business. The woman was warm and understanding, so even though she knew she’d miss him insanely much, she allowed him go. For eight months the man stayed in the abroad doing his ‘business.’ They spoke regularly on the phone, and tried to keep in touch even though some weeks went by without them speaking on the mobile phone – thanks to cutthroat international roaming fee (I guess). Anyways, after the eight month was up, he told her he was returning, and she expressed her excitement of seeing him after he abandoned her for a short eternity. Thing is when he got back, he didn’t see his wife as she was no longer living in his house. Matter-of-fact, the house was occupied by a new tenant. Not only had she let out the house, she had also sold all the house-hold furniture and cars he left behind, and had moved on to start a new life for herself. Turns out she knew right from the start that his ‘business’ abroad was another woman. The End.

The latter is such a beautiful story. No disgraceful drama, just good ol’ calculation and self-control.

Just imagine the fate of A in the former story, having to spend days in jail whilst the person she was fighting for is free to shag more women. Someone in her shoes might have decided to pay back by sleeping with Ho’s husband too. An eye for an eye, right? But why settle for an eye when you can get the whole booty – and I am not talking ass.

Commitment is not by force, and like the popular saying goes: if you can’t handle the heat, don’t go into the kitchen.

This article was written by Deborah Oyegue; connect with her on Instagram via here  

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