It’s week 3 into our Valentine series owing it is the month of February and the season of love. I feel really honored writing about love and relationships especially as I’m not a relationship expert. When I conceived this idea and pitched it to my editor, I started wondering what I was thinking but thankfully, I’ve been able to pull through and here we are.

Well, this week I’ll be shedding light on how partners can sustain the spark/flame/fire/glow/vibe (whatever you choose to call it) of their relationship. I’ve heard people whine and complain a lot about how the beginning of their relationship was rosy and they could literally see starts in their partner’s eyes when they stared into them; but months or years on, all that glistering seems to fade away or get replaced with struggles.

Good news! You no longer have to deal with struggles; brace up because the flame is about to be reignited following these 5 easy guidelines.

  1. Surprises: nothing says “thinking about you” like springing a good surprise on your partner. It can literally light up a thousand bulbs in their world. The fact that you actually thought it through to send them flowers, gifts, lunch at break time etc when they least expect it goes to show you have them in mind. Surprises show that no matter how crazy your schedule is, you still find time to arrange a thoughtful gesture; and how heart-warming is that?


  1. Date nights: some may argue this is borrowed culture from the West but it doesn’t make it less of a way to keep the flame in your relationship alight. Date night may or may not be weekly depending on your budget/schedule but incorporating it in your relationship will surely do it a whole lot of good. Find time to seclude yourselves from the craziness of work or the chatter of kids and go out to eat a nice meal, watch a nice movie, or even go clubbing. No matter the location, time spent together as a couple is very valuable and endears partners to each other a lot more.


  1. Public Display of Affection (P.D.A): Nigerians will stare at you in an awkward manner, iya-alata will judge you with her eyes, children in their naivety will jeer and close their eyes but it is in your power to not let the reaction from the world deter you from expressing love to your partner publicly. Hand in hand strolls, forehead kisses and stolen kisses, brushing hair off your babe’s face, whispering sweet nonsenses in each other’s ears, compliments, private jokes etc done in public make up some of the ways to display affection publicly. Granted, you may be dating an extremely shy person; it is up to you as the bolder partner to make them comfortable with PDA. No need to go about it forcibly; with more subtle gestures and time, PDA can actually grow on your once shy partner.


  1. Remember important dates: this particularly entails anniversaries and birthdays. It doesn’t just end at remembering, also make effort to do or buy something new and special for them. Days like that come only once in an entire year and remembering shows you care. Unless under very reasonable circumstances, do not forget important dates. They are one of the life wires that keep a relationship going.


  1. Pray: ever seen or heard where something had the Almighty’s backing and it failed? I haven’t and I’m guessing you haven’t as well. The importance of praying for your partner can never be over emphasized. Your partner’s challenges are invariably your challenges and combating them spiritually saves you both a whole lot of stress. Pray, so you don’t fall prey to the antics of the enemy; pray so your love is one that stands the test of time and above all, pray so blessings and joy does not elude you two.


Stick around for the final dose of the Valentine series and don’t limit showing love to just February; every waking day is indeed one to reassure your boo you got love deeper than the ocean for them.

Written By Winifred Ononikpo

Leave a Reply