It’s not only when blood is shed nor swords are unleashed from their sheaths, that a war begins. Wars go on everyday, even within ourselves. There is the poverty war, political war, economic war but my focus is on our sexes, and how detrimental this is to the youths.

Before we are males or females, we are humans. The order on earth is for one palm to rub the other for the hands to be washed clean – togetherness. Togetherness brews success but there has to be understanding before we can work together to achieve a common goal.

If a man feels threatened because of the uprise of a woman in the society or a woman feels inferior due to the position of authority of a man, there’s a problem. We should not be limited by gender prejudice, gender assumptions. We ought to follow our hearts, and brains, more importantly.

There’s a natural balance and specific roles are assigned to males and females. There should be a balance. Both sexes have their primary roles. Naturally a man is the breadwinner of the family, a woman is better at nurturing and at building the home.

In a situation where a widow has no one and has to tend to the needs of her children financially, if she does her primary role well, and adds a secondary role to it – ‘being the breadwinner’, there should be no societal earthquake. Or, a man who is an all rounder, and helps his wife with house chores, and care of the children has committed no sin. Shall we leave egoism and machoism out of this?

The war has been on for long and is no surprise to us. There should be no militant feminism, brutal patriarchy, emotionally violent protests. This war has broken homes so much that the youths are in dispute over the term ‘gender equality’.

The solution to that is this. Males and females are on a teeter-totter. In some cases, the males will be higher in strength, power, position. Other cases, females will spring up intellectually, rise strength-wise, take firm holds. It’s not a battle, it’s a simple balance. Can we just agree to equity? Can we agree that a man can decide to spend his leave wholly at home, doing not much but helping with chores? That a woman can earn a living, and not be discriminated at work because she’s female? Can we just join hands as youths, not argue who is better, who can do better? For we all have our strengths and weaknesses. That’s exactly why roles are naturally shared, but this doesn’t mean that we can’t assist each other with these roles.

A man is the head of the home, by default and a woman is the neck that holds the head, supports it, helps turn to view the world in a better way. Can we work together for peace to reign? I believe we can.



This article was written by Aishat Oredola; connect with her on IG here


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