The World Gender War [Entry 67]

It’s not only when blood is shed nor swords are unleashed from their sheaths, that a war begins. Wars go on everyday, even within ourselves. There is the poverty war, political war, economic war but my focus is on our sexes, and how detrimental this is to the youths.

Before we are males or females, we are humans. The order on earth is for one palm to rub the other for the hands to be washed clean – togetherness. Togetherness brews success but there has to be understanding before we can work together to achieve a common goal.

If a man feels threatened because of the uprise of a woman in the society or a woman feels inferior due to the position of authority of a man, there’s a problem. We should not be limited by gender prejudice, gender assumptions. We ought to follow our hearts, and brains, more importantly.

There’s a natural balance and specific roles are assigned to males and females. There should be a balance. Both sexes have their primary roles. Naturally a man is the breadwinner of the family, a woman is better at nurturing and at building the home.

In a situation where a widow has no one and has to tend to the needs of her children financially, if she does her primary role well, and adds a secondary role to it – ‘being the breadwinner’, there should be no societal earthquake. Or, a man who is an all rounder, and helps his wife with house chores, and care of the children has committed no sin. Shall we leave egoism and machoism out of this?

The war has been on for long and is no surprise to us. There should be no militant feminism, brutal patriarchy, emotionally violent protests. This war has broken homes so much that the youths are in dispute over the term ‘gender equality’.

The solution to that is this. Males and females are on a teeter-totter. In some cases, the males will be higher in strength, power, position. Other cases, females will spring up intellectually, rise strength-wise, take firm holds. It’s not a battle, it’s a simple balance. Can we just agree to equity? Can we agree that a man can decide to spend his leave wholly at home, doing not much but helping with chores? That a woman can earn a living, and not be discriminated at work because she’s female? Can we just join hands as youths, not argue who is better, who can do better? For we all have our strengths and weaknesses. That’s exactly why roles are naturally shared, but this doesn’t mean that we can’t assist each other with these roles.

A man is the head of the home, by default and a woman is the neck that holds the head, supports it, helps turn to view the world in a better way. Can we work together for peace to reign? I believe we can.

 

 

This article was written by Aishat Oredola; connect with her on IG here

94 thoughts on “The World Gender War [Entry 67]

  1. It’s kinda funny how some people stress over things that’s not, and how they create a mountain out of a mole. In some cases, the woman’s just extending an helping hand to the man, and he’s the one that’ll be creating unnecessary troubles, this time, it’s not even the people. May peace reign in this community of ours. Well done nammie😘 This, is rightly written. Continue to keep your pen high

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  2. Well scripted maestro of the pen.

    This is a very deep rot, (with all due respect), especially in the African setting. You hear men bragging of leaving their Wives to all chores and mothers crying fox when their sons assist with home chores.

    These same women would rain hell if their husbands refused to lift a finger at home while they clean sweat from their forehead every second, yet, theirs sons aren’t meant to be like their fathers.

    Despite the theme narrowed towards gender equality, I believe your work beams its rays on all phases of “war” as you called it, political, cultural, race, religion even ethnic.

    The earlier we all realise that before we’re black or white, tall or short, man or woman, we’re humans first. I mean H. U. M. A. N. S

    More ink to your pen.

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  3. A very careful approach into murky waters. You speak my truth in affirming equity as the panacea to the melodrama the 21st century finds itself in. As a muslim, the concept of JUSTICE as enshrined in the canons of my faith very much takes care of, leaving no stone unturned, the what and whatnots of gender roles. Frankly put, I still very much find alien the gender tussle. It was a nice read. Thank you for putting pen to paper.

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  4. I like this fact you said before we are men and women we are humans. So we need to keep these negative feelings away. May God help us all.

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  5. Exactly. The word ‘gender’ is fast gaining dangerous meanings with sexists and feminists everywhere.
    I love the way you simplified this unnecessarily complicated topic. Very well written.

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  6. Short but precise. You wittily balanced the equation with love and respect for both sexes. If only we can realise it was never a competition but a complimenting, then we can start to repair the anomalies gender hateam has caused for ages.

    Aisha, you are a beautiful soul all round.

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  7. Exactly. The word ‘gender’ is fast becoming unsafe with sexists and feminists increasing population. It is high time everyone understood your ‘head and neck’ theory. Thank you very much for this insight. Brilliantly written.

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  8. I do believe we can too. This explicitly states what I mean when I tell some of my feminist friends that that ‘feminism should be more about gender equity than equality’. Well said Aish’

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  9. Well done Aisha.

    Very apt. When we talk gender equality, we need to specially emphasize the need for both genders to play their roles and not feel threatened by the other.

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  10. That we fight a war everyday on all spheres of human endeavour is something I couldn’t agree more to.
    This is well penned.
    A must read.
    You said it the way it is.
    And I applaud your wisdom.

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  11. That we fight a war on all spheres of human endeavour is something I couldn’t agree more to.
    This is well penned.
    Its a must read.
    You said it the way it is.
    And I applaud your wisdom.

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  12. You’ve really said a lot with just a few words. You’ve changed mentalities and mindsets, I can’t speak for many but mine definitely was… The earlier the world begins to realise this, the faster we’re pivoted into a beautiful future. May Allah continue to increase us all in knowledge. Well done ma

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  13. This is an interesting perspective. Methinks this is probably the best way to approach gender roles in familial settings.

    Many thanks for writing.

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  14. Exactly. I totally agree. We all are meant to complement each other in as many ways as we can whether male or female. Togetherness and equity is the way forward

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  15. This is well written, equity should be our watchword, we should learn to complement each other and stop the clamour for equality. We are different, our roles are different too but that doesn’t mean we can’t be what we want to be on the basis that it’s only for a particular gender especially when the need arises.

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  16. This is well written, equity should be our watchword, we should learn to complement each other and stop the clamour for equality. We are different, our roles are different too but that doesn’t mean we can’t be what we want to be on the basis that it’s only for a particular gender especially when the need arises.

    Reply
  17. I am wholly with you on this! Misandry and mysogyny have become a norm in our modern day society, tearing apart the parts that should work together to make one whole efficient system. It is sad.

    Reply

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