Two of my male friends kept arguing. I joined them only to discover they were arguing about rape: “How can a girl claim she was raped when she was wet?'”, I listened in on their arguments and from there I could pin-point a few things that are behind the stigma girls face when they are raped and also the reason why our society is the way it is.
Can a girl claim she was raped if she was wet in the process or even had an orgasm? Like the typical Nigerian that I am, every time the issue of rape is discussed, I whisper in my heart that may I never have to go through that experience. I was 6 years when I was first touched by a man, I do not want to go into the details on here, but did I want it? No! Did it start to feel good at a point? Yes!, Did I crave sexual experiences after those series of incidents? Yes!, Was I sexually abused? Yes!, Should I say that because I enjoyed what was being done on my body after my initial struggle and frustration, then I cannot say I was sexually abused? No!
What then determines the circumstances of rape? Of course what I went through was nowhere near rape, but I can draw a comparison. Rape in lay terms is unwanted sexual intercourse, meaning that I did not ask for sex, but was dealt it anyway. Does that change the fact that my body may or may not respond to you? It doesn’t!
I have been present in a physiology class where this question was asked with a doctor present and his answer – That she got wet does not mean she wanted it, that was just her body responding to you! You have certainly heard about girls who got raped and then turned into sex addicts and you must have also heard of those who hated sex afterwards. Different people respond in different ways to different stimuli, so you may just want to remember that the next time you have an argument on this subject.
This article was written by Blessing Iyamadiken; she tweets via @Blessingiyama