I live in a society filled with hypocrisy and pretense. A society that choose to measure morality but lack the morale to measure it; I choose to become me – to say yes to being me. Trailing back with chains and shocks all, I am now smiling at the new me; a new me of acceptance and of love. This is me and this is what I ought to become – A Lesbian Story.
The colourful lights were all over the corners and the speaker was like a boom-boom explosive sound to the latest songs. It was Vicky’s birthday party and we her friends were here to support her. I was giving her all the winks and smiles she deserves. Vicky and I had knew each other since childhood (though her parents never supported our friendship and used any opportunity they had to separate us but we only became closer – she lost her parents years later to a car accident). Vicky wasn’t gay but she supported our likes.
Her man who I was forced to like was here laughing loudly as Vicky was giving him a lap dance. She danced towards me.
‘Don’t you want to dance? Come here.’ She shouted, laughing.
I laughed too. ‘Your man is by the corner.’
‘Really so you don’t want to dance then? It’s fine. Keep looking at me then.’
But she was dancing to me and I drank my liquor, nodding in approval. I think I need a lap dance too. I thought.
Someone was banging on my door. I checked the time it was 5am, I had left the Vicky’s party after she drove off with her man. I was so exhausted and getting up from here was the last thing on my mind.
‘Who is that?‘ I yelled.
‘Mira, it’s me.‘
It took me a sec to fly to the door and open.
‘What happened Vicky?‘
She was almost in tears.
‘What happened to your eyes? Your face is swollen.’
She shook her head. ‘We had an argument’
‘And he did this to you? On a day you are suppose to be happy? Seriously, I don’t know. . . . .’
‘Just let me rest, I don’t want to hear anything now.‘
‘I’m sorry’ I apologized.
I offered her a cup of tea as she lay on the bed.
‘Thank you’. She said.
‘You’re welcome.’ I smiled and watched her drink.
‘Maybe you should go to work from here. I could go to your place and bring some clothes‘ I offered.
‘Thank you but no‘ she said, ‘That bastard would not dare come to my place.’
I sighed. This was the second time he was hitting her and some flowers and a date would take her back to his arms as usual.
I was driving out to buy food stuffs. It was raining but I was determined to cook today, I wasn’t about to spend money on food delivery and this evening was the perfect time to shop for foodstuffs.
My phone rang.
‘Mira I know you might think I am stupid but this box of cakes and this beautiful jewelry on my wrist now that Nathan bought me just. . . .. ‘
‘Are you being serious now?’
‘I know. . . He was just so sweet and he apologized. He sat outside my door and waited for hours till I opened the door . . . .‘
‘You are confused’ I said, shaking my head. ‘That guy is going to hit you again.’
‘I don’t want to talk about that Mira. That’s past now and this is now’
‘Where are you now?‘
‘Well, I am driving to the mall, I need to get foodstuffs.’ I said.
‘Wait? Are you driving and calling?’
‘No ma’m. I just parked my car to answer your call.’
‘Oh, that’s a relief. So what are you cooking?
‘Why don’t you come over at my place tonight and find out yourself‘ I said, laughing.
She laughed too. ‘Okay.’
I drove into the mall, I noticed a girl waiting outside obviously annoyed being under the rain with an umbrella that could barely cover her. I took my time to buy everything I would need and rushed inside my car to avoid being wet by the rain. The girl was still standing outside.
‘Hello. Are you waiting for someone?’
‘I am waiting for a cab‘ she replied.
‘Where are you going? It’s raining and I don’t think you would find a cab sooner.’
‘I am going across the third street.‘
‘Oh come in. Let me drop you then’
She was obviously relieved and got in.
‘Thank you’ she said.
‘You’re welcome. By the way I’m Mira.’
‘Oh, I am Laura.‘
‘Nice name’ I complimented.
‘Is this the way you dress?’ She asked, amused.
I smiled. ‘Yes. You like the Tom-boy kind of look?‘
‘Maybe. I have a friend who dresses like this too but she is out of the country now.‘
My phone vibrated, I quickly scanned through the text, it was from Vicky – she cancelled coming over. She was sleeping over at Nathan’s place.
‘Is everything okay?’
‘Oh, yes it is. Sorry, that was my bestie. She just cancelled coming over’
‘Oh, was that why you went to buy these foodstuffs? You know what? I can come cook with you just to say thank you’
‘Really?’ I smiled. ‘It’s fine but I don’t think it is necessary, besides, you need to go home, take a hot shower and change your wet dress.’
‘I stay with a friend and home is still locked till 9pm. I forgot my keys’
‘Are you serious?’ I laughed.
She laughed too. ‘I should come. I just made another new friend today.’
The rain was now heavier as I drove into the compound. I went into my room and brought a big over all T-shirt and turned on the heater.
‘Wear this when you are done. I would be in the kitchen’ I offered Laura.
We chatted and laughed throughout and after eating the delicious soup, we continued our chat.
‘So tell me about your friend?’
‘Oh, you mean Vicky?’
‘We have been friends since childhood, though her parents her late. She is a strong but open- minded person, sometimes she could be very silly but she’s smart. And I like her alot. She works at a printing firm, maybe if you have some works you want to do, I could give her your number, so she can make for you.’
Laura laughed. ‘Wow, that’s nice. You guys started way back.’
‘So tell me about you?’
‘I just moved into town recently after completing my diploma. I work at a cosmetic store. It’s quite hard but we are struggling through.’
‘It’s okay. .. .’
‘Ouch’ She cried.
‘What is it?’
‘You left a pin here. Oh my, there’s blood on my finger.’
I rushed to bring some antiseptic and started treating her cut. Then I looked at her and smiled. She smiled back and just as a night imagination, I caressed through her.
‘You should go home’ I said as we fell asleep side by side.
There was a bang on the door. I slowly went to open the door with a sleepy eye. Vicky pushed me over carrying a box of cakes.
‘I am sorry about yesterday. I….. .. She paused’
It was then I realized that Laura was still on my bed wearing Vicky’s favourite t-shirt. Shit! What was I thinking?
‘Hi’ Vicky said, trying to hide her emotions.
Laura didn’t respond.
‘Laura, this is Vicky’ she wasn’t about to put me in more trouble.
‘Oh hi Vicky, Good morning’
‘Good morning. You can also have this cake too. I am leaving now. I just wanted to stop by before going to work.’
And she left with a flash.
The day was very hectic for me as I had several informal meetings with my clients. I kept praying Vicky would just answer my calls and hear me out. I ignored Laura’s even though she had texted to apologize for what happened. She shouldn’t be apologizing though. It wasn’t her fault. I decided to chill till the next day before going over to Vicky’s place. I took a deep breath and waited several minutes before she opened.
‘Hello oooo? Who did this to you again?’ I hope it’s not Nathan?’ I was shocked. Her face was swollen again.
‘What are you doing here?‘
‘What am I doing here? You refused to pick my calls and . . . ‘
‘And you gave someone else my fave t-shirt.’
‘I have apologized and we shouldn’t be talking about that, we should be talking about your disfigured face’ I angrily said.
‘Disfigured face? I am done with you and Nathan; like I don’t need you two in my life anymore. You are all bunch of toxics affecting me.’
‘What? Hello oooo. I am not the one that did this to you?’
‘I don’t care. Just get out. Get out of my life’. She yanked the door open.
I walked out and didn’t look back.
I and Laura were on a house date. We were chatting and laughing and feeling comfy on my bed as we watched TV.
‘When last did you hear from Vicky?’
I shook my head.
‘I think she is going out with a married man now. The last time I saw her, he was shopping her bags and clothes.’
I literally wanted to run now and go over to Vicky’s place and yank her back into my life but I smiled. Maybe, people needed space to breathe.
‘I would be going to the community homes tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?’
She smiled. ‘Sure’
‘I would send one of my staff to deliver items to them before we get there.’
‘You sure have a good heart’ she smiled. ‘You know, maybe our meeting was planned. We were meant to meet.’
I smiled and Vicky’s face flashed before me.
I rented another place for Laura and bought her a car. I was driving to her place at the new place when she called.
‘Babe, please buy some chocolates. You know my favourite’
I smiled. ‘Okay.’
I almost bumped into a car. And then I realized it was parked just by the road side. I hissed and got down from my car and I thought I saw Vicky; she was inside the car, her face down on the steering. I knocked on the door. She looked up and saw me; there were tears in her eyes. She opened her car door.
‘What are you doing here?’ She asked.
‘I should be asking you? It’s very late and all you could do is park your car here and do what? What happened to you Vicky?’
She sighed. ‘My life is messed up right now. I am pregnant for a married man and he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me again.’
‘Oh Vicky, you knew he was married’
‘He said he was going through his divorce and . . .’
‘So you really believed that?‘ I was shocked.
‘I don’t know what to do now. I am going to abort it’
‘No’ I sighed. ‘I could help take care of the baby. Maybe the god mother or something’
Her eyes lit up with a glow. ‘Really?. Oh my, what could I ever have done without you? I am so sorry for everything that happened. I was just hurt that you could give out my shirt and Nathan was. .. .. .I really don’t want to talk about him ever again’
‘You don’t have to again.’
She laughed. ‘So how’s Laura? Are you two still together?
‘Yes. She’s doing well with a new car and a house now. . . . ‘
‘You got her a car? Awwww, I hope it’s not finer that mine’
I laughed. She laughed too.
‘Is it okay if you come over at my place now? I really need your company’
‘Okay’ I said, without thinking. I texted Laura and cancelled coming over.
Maybe I dreamt or we dreamt but there were two naked people cuddled into each other’s arms in bed- That’s what your deepest and weirdest dreams which finally became reality results to.
Laura was furious when I told her I met Vicky. Maybe, I shouldn’t have told her in the first place as she kept on flaring up. She walked up to me and started hitting me; I tried as much as possible to avoid her. The best thing was to leave. The next day, she broke up over the phone, apologized for the previous night and told me to go back to Vicky. I should be the one apologizing I thought.
I realized later, her friend who she said travelled out of the country was back and she had moved out of the house.
Vicky had put to bed to a baby girl. She smiled at me and whispered ‘Thank you’ as I carried baby Debby in my arms. Well, maybe you can say I would be a good god mother, a boyfriend, a father, and a caring life-giver of love to Vicky and Baby Debby.
I literally skipped this;
It took me so long to finally accept me as the society would not let you be you. There are already laid down rules and norms you must follow but this same people who give these rules should also check themselves too. I don’t see them better than me.
People that always stare at me and talk with the way I dress but when they finally get to meet me in person, there is this aura of friendship that always brings them back.
Okay, call me whatever you like but did you know it took me so long to finally get over those years of rejection, oppression from people – who thought I was not normal.
I heard Vicky’s voice. She was holding Baby Debby.
‘Are you alright? Why are you smiling and talking to yourself?‘
‘What? I didn’t’
She shook her head. ‘Come carry Debby’ She said and smiled into me.
This article was written by Sandra Okenwa; connect with her on IG here