Changing what it means to be a female involves also a corresponding change in the status of being a male.
Right in her parents’ bedroom, on a metal-framed bed, the spring under it makes a squeaky-squeaky noise at each push she made. Hemen! Hemen! She will call him while he is outside playing football with his friends after school. “Yes! Aunty, make I come?” he will ask her in pidgin English if she needs him to come over. “Yes, come help me do something for kitchen” she replies, asking him to come give her a hand in the kitchen. Hemen then leaves his football game, hoping to return to it soon, follows Sedoo, who he calls aunty because she is much older.
Hemen follows behind, instead of the kitchen, Aunty Sedoo leads the little boy to her fathers’ bedroom, pushes him to the bed, pulls off his school uniform shorts, and climbs over his sweaty frame, inserts his boyhood into hers. Hemen didn’t know what she was doing. The only instruction was this; don’t tell anyone, if not I will beat you and will not give you money for biscuits again. Well little Hemen, not knowing otherwise, kept mute. She was almost caught during one of her episodes when her Dad came home before time. She told him to quickly hide under the bed. How many times this happened, he cannot remember, but he could remember that it started when he was in Primary 4 till he finished his fifth year. And it stopped only because Aunty Sedoo moved to Abuja.
Hemen was 6 years, 3 months and 16 days old.
Hemen is a boy.
Sedoo, Hemen’s Aunty was their next door neighbor. Nobody could ever suspect a thing. She loves kids was the notion they all had about her.
Girls get abused, raped, harassed all the time. This happens everywhere, even in places where they are supposed to feel secure, like at homes, among families, they still experience this evil acts. In fact, most molestations and rapes are from ones close to the victim. House helps molested by their employer, fathers and step-fathers raping their daughters and step-daughters, brothers abusing their sisters, bosses at offices, supposed boyfriends, thieves and even fellow girls. Most of the time, these go unreported, the victim bleeding silently inwards.
But, how about the boys?
I am not, in anyway preferring any gender nor am I downplaying what our girls go through. It is just that we often find ourselves talking too much, or elaborately if you will prefer on the negative and evil things girls go through but often times miss out on the boys too.
Perhaps we should blame the media for a lopsided report of situations. Or the society, or the church, maybe parents.
In conclusion, in addressing the scourge of sexual abuse and molestation in the society, a balanced view should be used to do so, in order for it to be comprehensive.
This article was written by Emmanuel Dominic ; connect with him on Instagram here