Chronicles Of A Bearded Ibadan House Officer [Ep.6]

Read 5 Episode here

You know I had thought the worst thing I could battle were the brand ambassadors of UCH – mosquitoes, but I tell you now I am battling with a more dangerous evil – rats. They were the smartest living things I have ever seen, the way they nibbled everything you would have thought a machine made those marks; they could tear down a whole shelf of foods, it was so annoying to see them so active during the day and the night times were like the gathering and meeting points where they decided which room to invade. I can bet there was a leader who was issuing orders, the rats were so fearless, they will see humans and rather than run away they will be walking like they have six packs.

Back in my boring hilarious ward, I became a superstar, as within two days I had mastered the art of giving a crescent smile that melts everyone’s heart.

So this particular day we were in theatre, of course being in O and G meant I’ll see a lot of caesarean section; any time a woman’s labour was prolonged next thing you will hear is CS – that was the code here, we love the knife, we love seeing the babies. Anyways, this woman had been in labour for hours so we had to follow the protocol, she was rushed to theatre for an urgent Caesarean section.

All was going well, suddenly I saw the husband racing after me… Doctor…Doctor… they are carrying a coffin to meet my wife, what’s going on Doctor… Coffin, I wondered. We don’t mummify people here so how’s it possible there’s a coffin in the theatre. I left what I was doing and closely raced before the man.

Lo and behold I saw the coffin he was talking about, I was weak. Didn’t know what to say, then I summoned my breath and replied hmm sir, that’s an incubator and it’s for your baby, it’s not a coffin. The man was dumbfounded, I repeated it’s an incubator… next he said Doctor you want to fry the baby… I laughed… it’s a small house for your baby till he develops and can survive on his own. Next he said, thank God I don’t have to move to another apartment, we can name the child in this incubator.

 

This series is curated by Doctor Sina; you can connect with him on Instagram here

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