Chronicles Of A Bearded Ibadan House Officer [Ep.17]

Read Episode 14 here

Ok it was the scariest thing I had seen in a while, I was done from my hectic call, I thought I was going to sit down and sink my head and belly into a well prepared bowl of rice brandished as call food.

I tell you the food was quite awful, I initially thought it was some sort of concoction meant to appease some gods, the whole picture of the food kept bringing back memories of Yoruba movies where food were prepared and put along crossroads so that some effigy or phantom is meant to gulp the food.

What exactly is this in the pack? Was it green rice or fried rice? I was so confused. My sense of smell could not place or recognize exactly what my visual senses were seeing; it was quite foreign yet familiar. There was a rumbling in tummy at this point in time. It was quite late and I could not get food from anywhere, I was stuck with the goulash staring right at me or accepting the hunger pangs that were threatening to rip out my intestines.

You should know that getting call food in UCH meant you were on call but to some of us every day is call because the way you work, I can boldly tell you deserve a plate of good food. I will be honest with you – most only eat the food to fill belle (stomach). When I was in pediatrics I remember being introduced to the call food by a senior colleague.

I became a regular face at the call food register where we registered to collect food, it almost got to a time that the clerk that signs you up for food automatically knew my name… Haba… It was at that point I knew I had to reduce the way I showed up oh. Lol

Back to me and the call food, I was staring at it still confused with what to do with it. I was between the devil and the deep blue sea, for some reason the rice started appearing like wriggly worms, I was clearly hallucinating or were they following me from my village, the worms kept dancing in various colours, I washed my eyes then I saw clearly it was just my imagination.

It was time to gobble the food, with trembling hands I took the white plastic spoon that always followed the pink disposable plate. I shoved in the spoon like a bricklayer who had an appointment with his shovel and heaped my spoon and put it in buccal cavity, I wasn’t even sure if there was food in my mouth because it was tasteless. I had to rotate and swirl my tongue around to be sure food was in my mouth. I could not stomach the agony of being embarrassed with such a bland food, I spat it out, threw the food away and luckily for me I had some popcorn a dear medical student gave me when I went to Alexander Brown Hall (The medical student’s residence ), I snacked on that and went to sleep.. You need to see the dreams I was having I am pretty sure you don’t want to know.

 

This series is curated by Doctor Sina; you can connect with him on Instagram here

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