Chronicles Of A Bearded Ibadan House Officer [Ep.14]

Read Episode 13 here

I have learnt a few skills as my sojourn in house job continued; I am particularly not proud of some of my new feats or let’s say I picked up some skills that were not innate. I mean I was not always like that but life and times taught me to survive on that side of life. You know sometimes I still ruminate on the lyrics of Jayz’s Hard Knock life…hum. The hustle is quite real being a house officer. What is this hustle exactly? It’s the hustle for every medical supply.

Being a house officer is quite difficult when it comes to making sheets and investigation papers available, no one really cares that there is a shortage of continuation sheets to write. All they want is as they dictate they expect you to write on whatever form of parchment you have.

I became a Robin Hood, master of thieves. One of my Christian brothers once accustomed me and said my practices were wrong. What practices exactly… Okay I was also stealing continuation sheets.

Let me explain better the word steal or maybe let me say acquired. I’m sure every nurse on the wards I work are always wondering how all their sheets disappear.  One tip you should know is that whenever you ask for continuation sheets the nurses will give you the square root of what you asked for, I still wonder why they hoard those sheets, It’s not like we are going use the sheets for roasted plantain or suya wrappings.

Anyways as a sharp guy, I mastered the art of making their continuation sheets disappear. I should probably be called The Greatest Magician in Medicine; I know how to study when the nurses are not looking and when to quickly heap up the sheets in my pocket. It was usually surprising that during rounds whenever the senior registrars makes his dictation I don’t bother to ask for continuation sheets, I am now like a continuation dispensing machine.

You need to always see the commotion amongst the nurses were when they check the drawers for continuation sheets, I mean you initially said  there were no sheets when there were, now that the sheets really disappeared who will you run to. Lol…BUSTED…

I’d leave you to judge whether this my new found act is wrong or right; But remember that I am doing it for the patients. You might choose to call it heroism or choose to call it paper thief…but remember in this house job. Hustle is real, if you don’t get your head in the game, you’ll be swept totally away.

 

This series is curated by Doctor Sina; you can connect with him on Instagram here

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